In May, I asked readers to offer submissions for a new book blurb for my mystery/thriller, “In Memory of Greed.” I stated that the prize-winning blurb must explain enough about the book to entice potential readers without giving too much away. And you delivered…so much so, that I had a very difficult time choosing the winning entry.
After much deliberation, I chose the following entry by D. Hardy. I’m very pleased by the quality of all the submissions I received. If you are an author, I would highly recommend this method of obtaining a successful blurb to pair with your own written works. I feel that writing a successful blurb for your own books is one of the most difficult aspects of marketing one’s work.
I’m always interested in what you have to say, dear readers. Therefore, I have provided below, a copy of the new blurb vs. my own, original piece. I kept the original end paragraph, as it was the one aspect of my previous blurb that I was satisfied with.
I’d love to know what you think. Please feel free to leave me your opinions about the whole shebang. And, as always, thanks for visiting my blog.
All the best, AB
My original blurb
Murhkin Mocado, a twenty-nine year old, California native had it all … good job, good looks, and a solid handle on life. Upon leaving work one afternoon, a seemingly freak occurence changes everything. His decision to take action, a stunning attempt to save lives, carries with it unexpected repercussions. By the time day turns to night, he is charged with murder, set up for a crime he didn’t commit.
Meanwhile, Joelle Barstow, a star within the industrial espionage community for well over a decade, finds herself cast deep inside an operation involving big business and government. The operative’s skills are pushed to the limit while attempting to navigate this dangerous world of greed and power.
As their paths cross, Barstow attempts to warn Mocado of just how dangerous his plight really is. Mocado, manipulated by those who framed him, touches off a chain of events leading to one of the worst man-made ecological disasters in history.
Will Barstow unearth truths required to bring those responsible to justice? Will Mocado escape their clutches?
This mystery/thriller takes the reader on a rapid-fire adventure, beginning in the United States, careening through the breathtaking splendor of Ireland, and culminating in Kenya, one of the most exotic countries within the boundary of Africa’s “Dark Continent.”
The winning entry
You are an average guy with an average life. What if your normal day suddenly careened out of control? Imagine leaving work early, for a doctors appointment, only to be delayed by a potential catastrophe that you alone can avert. You spring into action, but end up being stymied by local authorities. By nightfall, you find yourself shot, laying in a hospital bed; accused of murder.
Such is the shocking reality of twenty-nine year old Murhkin Mocado. Unbeknownst to the California native, his skills as an ex-Navy SEAL have made him a target.
A powerful, corrupt group of individuals have set their sights on him, to help carry out their nefarious plans. Born of a relentless hunger for greed and power, these men are willing to sacrifice the lives of many to bring their insidious dreams to fruition.
However, the purveyors of evil deeds are also being watched by one Joelle Barstow, an operative well versed in the tradecraft of industrial espionage. Barstow is given a straight-forward assignment: to gather information on the CEO of a specific corporation. However, the operative quickly finds herself in over her head, as she inadvertently uncovers a web of corruption involving big business and government.
Once Barstow crosses paths with Murhkin Mocado, her skills are pushed to the limit, as she tries desperately to navigate this dangerous, and deadly world. Mocado, expertly manipulated by his devious handlers, initiates a chain of events leading to one of the worst, man-made, ecological disasters the world has ever known. Will the pair escape with their lives, in order to bring those responsible to justice?
This mystery/thriller takes the reader on a rapid-fire adventure, beginning in the United States, careening through the breathtaking splendor of Ireland, and culminating in Kenya; one of the most exotic countries within the boundaries of Africa’s “Dark Continent.”
You definitely picked a winner Al!
Good job D. Hardy!
Thank you, Shana. I’m really pleased you participated, and loved your entry. You made my decision a difficult one, indeed. Cheers.
That was a really good winning entry! Can’t go wrong with that choice. Again, great idea!
Thank you, Richard, not only for your excellent submission, and kind words, but also for being such a gentleman. I’m pleased, and proud to call you a friend.
That is a winner, Al. And a great idea. You know it will only work with a great book– and you have one of the best thrillers of late! I loved it. Can’t wait for the next one.
Hey Dannie…I really appreciate that, my friend. I hope things in Thailand are well. Thank you for all of your support, sir.
Interesting blog, post! It’s always great to meet like-minded people who think a book could not contain only a gripping story but a lot of wisdom and good tips, thoughts, etc too!
May I add a suggestion of mine: use sites like zazzle.com, cafepress. com, fiverr? They could be a good way to promote your works and to help “remove” stupidity in the streets like headlines on t-shirts, fridge-magnets, cups, etc: My Boyfriend kisses Better Than Yours, FBI – female body inspector, etc. Not everything we see and think of should be about sex, right? It would be much better if there were more nice pictures (even of mythical creatures), good thoughts, poems (from any genre are welcome I guess), etc? I’m allanbard there, I use some of my illustrations, thoughts, poems from my books (like: One can fight money only with money, Even in the hottest fire there’s a bit of water, Money are among the last things that make people rich, or
Let’s watch the moon, let’s meet the sun!
Let’s hear soon the way the Deed was done!
Let’s listen to the music the shiny crystals played,
let’s welcome crowds of creatures good and great…
etc). Best wishes! Let the wonderful noise of the sea always sounds in your ears! (a greeting of the water dragons’ hunters – my Tale Of The Rock Pieces).
Yes…well, thank you.
I hate writing blurbs with all my heart and soul. What a fantastic way you’ve come up with! May have to borrow your idea next time I have something published. Good choice, by the way.
Thank you, Ceri…I’d be honored to have you take the concept and run with it. I highly doubt I’m the first author to have a contest like this. And if you replicate it, I won’t be the last. 😉 Good luck, and I hope it ends up being as successful for you as it was for me.
This winning entry was right on target. It hooks the reader and makes us want more…of course to buy and read the book. Great work.
Thank you, Terri. The beauty of the contest…the work was done for me. I never really loved the blurb I wrote. The new one works much better. I’m glad that you approve. Cheers.